I sit and wonder where everyone is when you need them the most. Where do all the loved ones go when you are silently crying out for help? Left again to pick up the pieces and put me back together again, when I have tons of people who call me friend. Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy the silence of my world and ability to self-help myself; but it would be nice to have or hear someone simply ask, “Are you ok” for once. I find it funny that I’m always the counselor; the man with all the advice and warm shoulder to cry on. I give tons of my time and understanding to even the most difficult of circumstances. 
Placed in plots to cover up lies, but you left alone when your victorious and soaring high. Yet I am only left to be enjoyed during the good times. When you’re high they are flying with you and when you begin to fall they fly right by. I guess I’m a situational friend, only there when the times are good and alone when they are bad. Even the ones, who claim me as their BFF, ace boon coon, etc., leave me stranded to fight my own battles, wars, and terror they caused against me. I guess it’s true; there is no one truer than you. I trust in God that this too shall pass.
Silence is golden and sometimes a way to notice that something isn’t right. When breathe is absent from the body it is silent; just like the thoughts of a mind that finally gets rest. We live in a world that ignores silence and only reacts to nonsense noise. We forget that the silence of those around us could be marked as turmoil and pain. So busy with ourselves and living in vain, we forget that we are just everyday people living through the lows and highs this world brings. I sit and wonder when will the phone start to ring to see why I have been basking in silence and what are the issues unfolding in me.
It’s funny the noise the silence of a phone makes when it doesn’t ring; when the people stop caring about what is going on with me. It’s funny that we give so much to others that only return empty promises and lies of being there when we fall. Well I have fallen and none of you; yes you, couldn’t even pick me up or call. I have grown to develop a dead loving for most and coping mechanisms to face the crowd after my tears have soiled my face and pain has lashed my eyes. I don’t want your temporary thoughts of care. I need the sacred hold and comfort of a friend.
Get out of your narcissistic ways of being and remember that there was a time that you were needy. In need of a friend to hold you up; to put you back together again and build you up. Save your sorry calls and I didn’t know you were in pain, because forgiveness doesn’t live here and my tolerance for fake has moved to Maine. Sorry is so redundant in this modern world; using it constantly without meaning or heavy in inconsistencies. So for some this is goodbye, like you’ve never seen it before; an ending of a relationship that is worn out and no more. No more one-sided exchanges and shoulders to cry on. This dude right here has just settled the score. Not bitter or mad, but I have learned too many times that some people just don’t give a damn and have secretly moved on away from the past. So as I bring ending to this personal message I must leave you and say. When the voicemail greets you instead of my voice know that I’m good and not here to stay. Don’t you worry I value myself more than your closeness or lack thereof that has proven to be useless. Friend me from a distance and live on in your existence that I’m totally good and your friendship is nonexistent.
As we get older our value of friendship changes. People become occupied with life and many just become friendlier to those who are out of sight. Out of sight meaning attached to those who applaud us on social media and avoiding the true interactions of those who truly care for our well-being. Those relationships change and we see who and what we need in our lives and I pray we begin to pick right.
Years and experiences don’t always make us great friends, but loyalty and love keeps us right there. I’m learning that those who hear the silence know all about me and those who ignore have become disposable to me. Friendship isn’t forever and that story is all so true, but happier than happy to start a new with you, but not you!
Mood: Understanding the Silence and growing towards a brighter tomorrow.
SayWhatNOW?!?! 