For as long as I can recall I have been involved in many friendship circles that involve strong dominant women. I was always the Kyle Barker, William, and Anthony Bouvier among a excellent cast of women. As a adolescent I was often teased for being in the girls club or calling a female my best friend. The hilarious part is now as an adult those same dudes are contacting me to convince me to hook them up with my pretty, successful, and not lacking friends. The answer is Hell No! Although the need for pretentious hookups is not the purpose of this post; it helps me understand why I lack many successful male friendship cliques. It’s like auditioning for a boy band to later find out that what made us connect wasn’t built on a solid foundation and like many others we land in the pile of one hit wonders.
Over my adult years I have noticed that man too has an issue with competition or the need to compete. We at times befriend other guys in hopes of being that Alpha male, but when our hopes slip we turn on those circles. Now I may not have too many male readers, but those who are reading please don’t dare act like you have never once felt that you were “that dude” of your circle. It’s this arrogance that makes you feel that not one of your friends has the ability to knock you off your platform. The secrets of boy world. Now please don’t get me wrong. I have great males friends who I can call at the drop of a dime, but its the introduction of new friends that leave this a endless boxing match that I’m tired of fighting. At times, I would rather miss the event to avoid introducing and playing nice to someone who will eventually say I’m uppity, stand-offish, or high-maintenance….yes I have heard them all before. The real deal is that I don’t have time to encounter another group of men who smile for the sake of playing the game to only bash the competition and gather others to join there bold hatred plan. It’s a undocumented reality pilot that is just too raw for reality TV.
No new friends, ***** we don’t feel that
**** a fake friend, where your real friends at?- Drake
Competition! After having a great conversation with my close males friends far and near; I have felt a sense of not being able to level up to your friends. This leaves a weak leader in flight to find a weaker group of dogs to lead. For me, I have always sought out males who were strong leaders; leader who carried degrees, professional careers, etc. to befriend. Not because it looks great, but because we have the opportunity to help each other succeed. It’s the respect in knowing that my friends are equally talented and are able to bring new outlooks on various aspects of life. I wouldn’t dare see them as my competition, because in friendship there is never a competition. Those are the things the weak man seeks….a new opponent to strike down to remain on top. My friends are the ones in the front row shouting “WERK @#$%&” each and every time I succeed. Not attending the event to avoid clapping because the same prize I won they didn’t want me to obtain at all. My sentiment is sorry I didn’t have to fight much, but I’d be damn if I fight a man because I want to be the leader of the pack. To me that’s WACK. I will always be a leader within among other leaders.
I have unknowing auditioned for friendship cliques and have been hired. I always seem to find myself writing myself out because of the backstabbing, immature reads, and the jealousy that gets bounced around. If you live here…oh you are this. If you wear that…oh you think you cute. If you date this one….oh I use to do them. When will it stop and when will we become aware that this mindset destroys what we have left of us Black Men and start seeing each other has a stepping stone to get closer to our dreams. Now I have a great circle of male friends and I have never once felt judgement or the need to compete. I guess the problem is we are all cut from the same cloth. We are constantly seeking the new level and we only see self as competition. We motivate each other, push each other to the limit, and celebrate hard when someones mission is accomplished. That’s what real G’s do.
So yes, if you see me with a strong group of females its not because I don’t have males friends…nope…it’s because the ones that I do have don’t live in the land of petty and like me are busy making life moves and not reality show memes.
mOOd: I don’t do reality stunts to gain friends.
SayWhatNOW?!?! 