Good Morning Mourning….my 8:00am silent cry.
I am not a fan of late nights and early mornings. Although early mornings have been my norm since pampers and baby shoes. There is magic in a early morning. The beauty of quiet and crisp darkness that makes one realize that they are alive. It’s in those very moments that thoughts begin to form and the pieces of dreams become a picture of reality. It’s in my early mornings that I replay the conversations had and wisdom shared that wake me straight up to face the reality of I am not quite there. I am on my way, but right now in this moment I honestly don’t know where I’m going. The early morning is a confirmation that I am awake, but I’m still sleeping on obtainable dreams of purpose and plans. What a Good Mourning.
My recent early mornings have taken me back to a scary place. A place of reality and facing the fact that other people see me clearly. Straight through to parts I haven’t realized yet. The fact that trusted others have spoke future blessings into me and I sit and do nothing with the words. Oh wait…I collect them and replay the conversations during morning, but end up in mourning because I still have yet to believe them. Not because they are a distrusted people…no…, but because I am a fearful man. Wanting to pursue my goals, but scared to shake the atmosphere with Gods backing and guidance that I leave things were I found them and wait for someone else to fulfill the same plan. It’s too early to exposure a truth, but its my reality. I have a project for everything and dare not show it. I have goals that would change my life and those of others, but I dare not post it. I have a fear that I may appear foolish, so I stay quiet and dare not come off boasting. It’s my early mourning cry that awakes me every morning, because great exists in me…..I just need to believe it.
We all have early mornings of mourning. We at times can’t see the best in ourselves so we stay content and hidden. What if today you choose to do the one thing that you felt would change your circumstance? How would you feel at the end of the day? What if you dared to care a little more about yourself than you did about the rejections of man? There are a lot of success stories built off a mans no and uninterested plans. I have been told that I have what it takes to get there and yet I still stand in the earliest of morning, mourning of the plans. A plan that would take me to all the places I want to be, but the only thing in my way is silly me.
The alarm clock is ringing and no I’m not dreaming. I believe its a sign from God that I need to reawaken all that he has given me so that I can live my best life and not an average one of unfulfilled plans and dreams not lived. Today most be “get my ish together” day because WordPress just read me my rights and informed me that: First you tell yourself you’ll decide tomorrow. Then tomorrow becomes next week. Then before you know it, the dreams of your new site are long forgotten. I think they know my life….ok..ok. I am working on it all now. I will fulfill the plan.
mOOd: Goodbye to the early mourning of mornings.
SayWhatNOW?!?! 