Tuesdays Thoughts

What is your identity based on? Would you change it?

Last night I stumbled across a question that made me do some reflecting. It made me realize if am  all that I am because of the need for acceptance or was it merely because I liked who I have chosen to be. Let me clear some things up before you think I am getting too personal within this blog post. The question has to deal with the image we show the world everyday and if we totally put it on for self or put it on for others. So the question read: If what you owned had no bearing on what people thought of you, would you spend your money differently? I sat and thought maybe, well not really, wait…no. I make purchases based on how I see myself and how I choose to present to the world. I never second guess a decision based on what others like or dislike, because at the end of the day there is only one opinion that matters. MY OWN!

Still justifying why it wouldn’t change a thing, I remembered a time when opinions mattered and that having the latest made you the greatest. It drove me crazy and I decided that I didn’t need things to be a great person to the world. Yet, we continue to crave over materialistic matter to post filtered photos of vain looks for people to like us. Robbing our bank accounts to consume items for strangers disguised as friends to accept us. These “friends” are robbing you of something so precious; your TRUE identity. Buying Gucci and Prada, Driving a BMW, but living in low-income housing just to say I fit with the in crowd. Neglecting the premise that your identity should never be left for man to determine. So why do we continue in this vicious cycle of over compensating for others to bear us? Where is the satisfaction in that?

So the question still remains would we change our spending habits? Generally speaking for the world, I would say no. Most of us have hit that point in life where self-acceptance is the only acceptance one needs to survive. These are the people that curve the opinions of others and get off from the joy of their own self-love. Simply embracing their self-created dopeness. While many others are sulking for the social-acceptance that changes like the seasons. In summer you are hot, but in winter you are not. Who has the time to keep up with the hype of media fads and social norms. My normal is myself and everyday I walk out of my place of residence I am the fad.

My suggestion is to conquer your style. Embrace the oddness, extra, simple, etc of what makes you happy and who you are. Disregarding the need to spend more money to feed the need. Clothes and shoes never made a person fly for me. There are a lot of super fly fools walking around with nothing to offer you, but 10,000 followers. We have to embrace the ability of letting go the need for approval from others – completely. Voiding your life of complicated situations of I need to be this for this person, this outfit has to be fly to impress this group, or I won’t be accept if I don’t. Please! Wanting to fit in when you were made to stand out is a reflection of your self-esteem and the weighted influence others have on your life.

Hey, I get it! We live in a world now where validation is necessary and self-love is not so important, but it still matters. It’s common to want the approval of others, but this can leave us in a terrible position where we lose trust in ourselves. The more you seek approval from others, the less confidence you will have in your ability to make your own decisions. By not doing so you give your power away,  and rely on others to define who you really are not, you weaken the foundation of confidence and independent decision making.

Ask yourself: If what you owned had no bearing on what people thought of you, would you spend your money differently? If you are struggling with your answer, there is some work to do.